To Sum it up -5
Here are links to some blog posts from bloggers which were published long back but relevant to CSA.
I fervently believed that I had sinned in my earlier birth for these bad things to be happening to me alone. And when we started talking in school about boys as teenage girls are wont to, I realized to my relief that I was not the only one. Every single friend I had had been through at least one form of sexual harassment. From then on, we developed a sort of antenna – an extra sensory perception to recognize a potential offender from yards away. We would be on high alert the moment we stepped out of the safe haven of our homes and school.
Well into my teens, when I did realize what had happened, I shuddered in fear. I re-lived those moments over and over again after a decade. I distanced myself from my father and my own brothers at home. Because, for us in India, cousin = cousin ‘brother’ = one family. So I distanced myself from every male member of the family. I went through phases of fear, paranoia, anger, disgust and then acceptance. Acceptance that what some slimy creature did was not going to make me any less. I refused to be a victim. Yes, it took me a while to get back to normal. But when I did, I was ready to move forward with my head held high. Like they say, what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger.
The middle one of the sons, lets call him the ‘monster’ ( what else?), was the only one whom I hated. REALLY HATED..actually for no reason at all. He talked nicely, joked, offered to play games or just smiled wide at me..but I never responded to that guy. Maybe, even at that small age, we are biologically trained to sense ‘danger’. Anyways, it was one of those not-so-sunny days when all us kids of the complex played inside the building. Hide and seek, it was. When everyone else found their hiding place, I was still hurriedly looking to find the best place..when the monster attacked..literally!
I do not really think that being scared or being paranoid and passing it to the kids is going to help in anyway. I do not think to be so much worried. all we need is the awareness and to be cautious. No need to overdo it, just go along with ur instincts which is very important. If one has the feeling that something/someone is not safe or may not be safe for the kid, just go with the instincts and be cautious from your end, let the kids have their share of fun the way we had in our childhood. The core point is not to tie them with chains of fear and anxiety, in stead let us make them aware and set them free.